Every so often I come across a book I know will freak me out, and I decide to read it anyway. And this time around it was I Need You To Read This by Jessa Maxwell. Her book The Golden Spoon is my favorite mystery of all time, so I trusted her as an author even though I knew this book would be creepier and prey on my anxiety. And where it did do exactly that, hidden behind the paranoia was an important story of the hard work it takes to overcome trauma and start over.
Alex lives a perfectly scheduled life designed so she won't be noticed. In fact, it becomes clear that she is hiding from someone, and will do anything to keep them from finding her. However, when she sees the very public application for her favorite advice column after the original writer was murdered, she decides to hate apply as nobody could ever replace Francis Keen - and surprisingly gets offered the job. However, Francis' murder was never solved, and as Alex starts getting to know the people in the office, it seems like the murderer might also work at the paper - and are targeting Alex next.
One of the most unsettling things the author did with this book is write it in the present tense. It's so rare for authors to write this way that it always feels off when it happens. Incredibly off. And it worked to this book's credit because it created an unsettling atmosphere immediately. It also highlights the main character's paranoia, as it becomes clear Alex expects trouble to jump out at her from every single shadow or unsettling sound. It was a fantastic strategy to empathize with Alex's mental state because with it being in present tense the reader feels like they are experiencing every single thing with her. It takes a very talented writer to write in the present tense and get me absorbed in the story, but Jessa Maxwell did it with such ease I am happily surprised I didn't hate it.
Alex was also the perfect protagonist for this story, because underneath the murder and threats, we have the very real story of a woman trying to overcome her traumatic past. From the beginning of the story it is clear Alex escaped an abusive situation: she never deviates from her routine, she works from home so she won't have to potentially meet someone who recognizes her, and her entire goal in life is to not be perceived by anyone other than the other regulars at the diner across the street from her apartment. She's terrified of following her dream, and there are plenty of times within the story she almost gives up because she figures she is going to fail anyway. Her quiet perseverance in the face of terror is admirable, and while she is paranoid, as the details of her past start to slip out it's clear she has a right to be. While jumping into this dramatic of an office definitely wasn't what was best for her, her empathy and wanting to do the right thing and help others are her biggest strengths. Even if it does mean she breaks into someone's office to spy on them at some point.
I also appreciated how unique this book's two main locations were. The Herald newspaper office was certifiably creepy: a conglomeration of a modern skyscraper and antique office building - where the skyscraper was sort of just added on in a very haphazard way. In addition, there's a tale about how the architect committed suicide that paints the building in an extra creepy light. The way the building is described, along with the abrupt changes between architecture types, only heightens both Alex's and our paranoia surrounding the mystery of Francis' death. But I loved how it was juxtaposed with the Bluebird Diner, the other main location. This is the kind of diner that always feels like home, where the regulars will come every day for breakfast whether or not it's a healthy decision for their bodies or wallets. Having a location be incredibly grounding was necessary for this book, and having a place where Alex would always feel safe allowed the readers to be able to breathe - which is necessary as the tension continues to heighten.
Overall, this book analyzed the messiness of being human - in both its highs and lows. And while it was a thriller, it was rooted in a sort of realism that made this story completely plausible. I hate that there are horrible people in the world who could make this story true, and yet, I can't help but applaud Alex for discovering her inner strength and finding the courage to follow her dreams. And to anyone who escaped a situation like she did, I hope you can do that too.
I Need You To Read This is available through Simon & Schuster